


When a Dream Becomes a Nightmare

by orphan_account



Category: Free!
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Confessions, Consensual Anal Sex, Consensual Sex, Consensual Threesome, Coping, Earned Trust, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Healing, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Fluff tons of Fluff, Forced Oral Sex, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Love, M/M, Mentions of Rape, Minor Violence, Rape, Rape Aftermath, Slow Build, Therapy, Threesome m/m/m, emotional issues, forced anal sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-13
Updated: 2014-12-13
Packaged: 2018-03-01 08:48:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 11
Words: 19,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2766986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Rin goes to Australia for Olympic training he's raped. However he finds out just how truly loved he is once he arrives home.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin leaves for Australia in pursuit of his dream, along the way he makes a new..."friend"?

_Cold._

_All he feels is cold._

_He's drowning._

_This is different from the last time. Last time he was suffocating in his own ambitions, he felt he couldn't reach them and was frustrated with himself, but not now. No, now someone was ripping his chances away from him with their cold, grabbing hands; on his mouth, gagging him, his wrists, binding him, everywhere. He couldn't breathe, couldn't think._

_"You like this, right? Yeah, if you want to reach your dream just stay still, I'll take care of you."_

Rin's eyes flew open. He was panting, chest heaving and covered in sweat. This was the fifth day this week he had the same dream. He looked over and noticed his phone was blinking with an unheard message, as he picked it up he noticed there were actually twelve unheard messages and thirty-six text messages, mostly from Nagisa, ranging from 'where are you?' 'are you home?' and his absolute favorite 'are you alright?' Was he alright? Yeah right, he would never be "alright" again. But that was fine, he didn't need friends or family. He didn't need a dream, hell he didn't even need to leave the house now did he? No, Rin was fine, well, he would be if these damn nightmares stopped haunting him. 

He shook his head and popped two of the sleeping pills on his bedside table and took a deep gulp of water and laid back down willing himself back to sleep. If only things hadn't gone so wrong, maybe he should have stayed in Japan and studied in Tokyo with Haru and Makoto, maybe, _just maybe_ , things would have ended up differently. Maybe then he wouldn't keep having these horrible nightmares, wouldn't be tormented with images of ties and groping hands and tears and salivia, he would have his sanity, a normal life. But it was too late now, the only thing to do was to move on, or not, Rin had his own choice, right?

_Six months earlier_

"Rin, are you ready?" Makoto looked to Rin with a gentle smile while Haru merely rolled his eyes.

"We'll be late, Rin." Rin scoffed at Haru's bluntness but picked his bag up anyway. He was headed to the airport to head back to Australia in pursuit of his dream of becoming an Olympic gold medalist, Haru and Makoto were seeing him off before they headed to Tokyo college. 'Stupid lovebirds' the redhead scoffed to himself. At the airport Haru stoically shook Rin's  
hand while Makoto grabbed him into a fierce hug, sobbing that  
they would see him soon. Rin shook his head and scoffed.

"Oi! Stop that you big crybaby!" Rin chided his best friend even if his own eyes were slowly filling with tears.

"But Rin, you're crying too!" Haru merely nodded.

"Don't be an idiot! I just got something in my eye it's this  
damn airport being dusty an all, if I owned this place I'd fire whoever's in charge of cleaning!" Makoto smiled and ruffled Rin's cherry locks and Haru rolled his eyes. "Stop that! I'm not five!" They all said their final goodbyes and Rin boarded his plane. As he went to shut his phone off he noticed two new text messages, the first from Nagisa and the latter from Rei. 'Bye Rin-chan! I'll miss you sooooo much! Whaaaa! I wish you didn't need to go! :( I'll miss you! Love you! Goodluck! ;) -Nagi', leave it to Nagisa to not only sign his message 'Nagi' but to also say 'love you'. God he would throttle him if he didn't care so much!

The second message from Rei was thankfully more normal with a formal, 'You will be missed but we will see you again on your next break, yes? Goodluck, Rin-san.' Rin didn't receive anymore messages due to the fact that he had already said his goodbyes to Ai, Sousuke, and Momo before he left. He sat back and put his earbuds in, settling down for the long flight. About ten hours later his plane touched down and he practically skipped off the plane but if anyone asked later they would be deemed 'damn delusional.' Rin entered the Olympic arena and gaped, sure he had already been there with Haru but this place never ceased to amaze him.

"Hey there!" Rin turned and there stood one of the most gorgeous guys Rin had ever seen. He had cropped sandy brown hair with a brawny build, he reminded Rin a lot of Makoto, except his eyes, they were blue. Not the beautiful ocean-like eyes of Haru, there was something deeper, darker about his eyes, something that left Rin uneasy. "You new here?" The new arrival asked. Rin nodded. "Cool! I'm one of the coaches here, I'm Japanese just like you! Hajime Minami's the name!" Hajime smiled brightly but for some reason it did not reach his eyes. 

Rin nodded. "Rin Matsuoka." Hajime smiled wider which made Rin shiver.

"Good to put a name to a face! So you ready to start your training regimine next week?" Rin smiled.

"Yeah, I'm really excited! I'll probably beat you in a race too!" He added jokingly.

"Oh, I'm not a swimmer, well I mean I do swim but, actually I'm a coach!" Rin stared, this guy must be an amazing swimmer if he was a coach so young!

"How old are you!?" Hajime laughed and shook his head.

"Actually you would never believe it, I'm actually thirty-one! Haha!" Rin's jaw dropped, no _way_ was this guy thirty-one! "How old are you, Matsuoka?" Rin had to close his gaping mouth before answering.

"I just turned eighteen." Hajime nodded.

"The prime of youth, eh?" He ended with a wink and a grin that left Rin feeling slightly uncomfortable. He brushed it off as being nervous about starting competitive swimming for real next week. He was no longer just blindly reaching for his dream, he was now actively grasping for it and the thought left him breathless. "Well we better head out then, huh? Wanna grab something to eat?"

"I'd like to...but...you know, I gotta set up my dorm and stuff and let my friends know that I made it here alright." Hajime nodded but looked disappointed.

"Yeah I get it, well maybe next time then, yeah?"

"Yeah, for sure!" Rin walked away with a wave and headed off to the dorms. Rin felt like someone was watching him but when he turned around there was no one there, he shrugged and walked on.

"Oniiiii-chan!!!!! You should have called me sooner! Right after you got off the plane! But _nooooo_ , my idiot brother waits until he gets to his _dorm_ to call his little sister to let her know he got to _Australia_! Way to make me worry! Really-"

"Yeah, yeah Gou."

"Don't 'yeah, yeah' me!" Rin secretly smiled. Gou was really stubborn and short-tempered but so was Rin, in fact they were almost identical in both looks and personality. Most people mistook Rin and Gou for twins, even.

"Okay Gou, I'm sorry. Your brother loves you and will send you pictures of all the muscles of the the _professional Olympic_ swimmers as an apology, okay?" Gou huffed but sounded secretly pleased.

"Fine! But don't think you're completely off the hook just yet! Are you listening?" Rin laughed and continued chatting with his sister. Before either knew it almost two hours had passed.

"I should get going, Gou. Goodnight, I love you."

Gou sighed, "Fiiine, goodnight onii-chan, I love you too." Rin got his room together and headed to bed. He was so nervous and excited he could hardly sleep. He spent the next few days texting his friends and sending pictures of all the sights in Australia to everyone, excluding Haru who had seen it all before. Nagisa was especially impressed by the Sydney Opera House, exclaiming 'it looks just like ocean waves from the side, Rin-chan!' Rin had laughed but couldn't exactly disagree.

The next day was the first practice where all the swimmers would meet their coaches and each other for the first time. "Rin! There you are!" Rin turned from his spot by the pool and spotted Hajime walking towards him.

"Oh, Minami-san, hey, what's up?"

"Please, just call me Hajime! But, anyway look!" He held up the paper in his hand. "I'm your coach for this year! Awesome, right?"

"Yeah, that's pretty cool!" Rin almost laughed this guy's enthusiasm was like a hybrid of Momo's energy and Ai's idolization. Rin felt a little more comfortable around him. 

"Well let's get started!" They walked to the side of the pool together after formal introductions of the rest of the team. "Okay I wanna see your dive!" Rin nodded enthusiastically ready to flaunt because even Rin could admit he had an ego and yeah, maybe he _did_ like to show off sometimes. As Rin got into starting position Hajime shook his head, "Here lower your stance a bit so you can gain more power, that's key to getting a good head-start on the other swimmers." Hajime placed a hand on Rin's lower back to push his hips down a bit, Rin was too excited to notice how his hand lingered on his back just a _little_ too long to be deemed appropriate. Unfortunately this was only the beginning.


	2. Getting to Know the Coach

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What's Hajime hiding from Rin?

Rin was so excited. It was week two of his amazing Olympic training and coach Hajime was teaching all these amazing techniques on how to become a better swimmer. His sister still called religiously every night while the rest of his friends only texted occasionally, Nagisa, Rei and Ai beginning their studies as third years, Sousuke being a personal trainer, and he never really texted Momo too often anyhow.

Except Makoto. Well, Makoto _and_ Haru because since Haru never used his phone and was sharing an apartment with Makoto, Makoto would answer for him. Not that Haru would tell Makoto what to say but since the shared that weird telepathy thing Makoto would _always_ know what Haru was thinking and what he wanted to say. Tonight Rin was feeling slighty lonely, not that he would admit that to anyone, and decided to actually call Makoto.

"Hey Makoto!"

"Rin! Haru it's Rin!" He sounded excited. "Rin how's it going? How's Australia? How's your training? Oh, you're not bothering your roommate are you? It's late there, right?"

"Whoa, whoa, mom, one question at a time! No I'm not bothering any roommate because I actually have my dorm room to myself! Isn't that awesome?! I guess that's the perks of being a world class swimmer! Oh, and training's going great! My coach, Hajime, is really cool! He's taught me so many things since I got here! My times even improved already! Tell Haru he needs to get down here so I can kick his ass in a race!" He heard Makoto chuckle on the other end.

"Did you hear that Haru?"

"Rin, I will win. I've strengthend my bond with the water."

"Haru, what the _fuck_ does that even mean?" Rin would never understand that kid, liked him sure, but would never get him.

"Rin, language." Makoto chided.

"Yes, _mom_!"

"At least he's a hot mom."

"Haru-chaaan!"

"Drop the -chan."

Rin could only laugh at the antics of his two best friends. Friends? Could they be called friends? Rin knew he liked them, sure, but for some reason after they let him swim with them at the relay of their second year things shifted. He still like Rei and Nagisa well enough, hell he could even go as far as to say they were his best friends, but Haru and Makoto? Something shifted, changed, morphed; it was on another level, deeper something he could place name to but was too terrified to so he shoved the thought to the back of his mind. A person could only have one soul-mate, one romantic interest, right?

"Rin?" Makoto's concerned voice filtered through the line. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I've just got a _really_ busy day tomorrow and I guess I'm a little tired."

"Sure thing Rin, we'll let you get some rest then. Goodbye, we lov- we'll talk to you later!" Makoto sounded suspiciously hurried at the end and Rin could have sworn he heard Haru mumble a 'don't tell him yet' in the background. Rin thought nothing more of it and shoved any thoughts away into the box in the back of his mind, that box that harbored the same taboo thoughts of polyamorous, homosexual relationships, and went to bed.

One month into his training things were getting weird. Rin had become pretty good friends with Hajime and hung out with him often, they had a lot in common besides swimming despite Hajime being thirteen years his senior. Rin felt totally at ease with the older man, although sometimes he felt like Hajime was a little too _touchy_. Like the time Hajime and Rin were sitting side-by-side at the pool and Hajime's hand rested on his upper thigh for a moment and then acted like nothing happened or how he would use his hands to position Rin when helping with his form even when it wasn't necessary. Rin was somewhat uncomfortable during these instances but figured Hajime was just a physical guy and meant no harm.

On this night Rin was eating out with Hajime at their favorite diner when he got a text from Makoto. He was about to reply to it when Hajime grabbed his phone. "Why don't you just wait? I'm sure your friend won't mind waiting until you're done eating with me, right?" Rin thought Hajime was being rude by grabbing his phone but realized that he himself was probably being just as rude texting while hanging out with someone else.

"Yeah of course! Sorry about that, I guess I'm just used to replying right away, especially when it's 'Mako-mom'!" Hajime smiled at him, something about it not quite right.

"Such a cute nick-name for your little friend." He purred.

"Oh trust me Makoto's not little, he's almost as big as you!" Rin reached out for his phone which Hajime promptly returned and pulled up the photo coach Sasabe had taken of all of them right before graduation and after the relay seeing as all of them were in the same place.

"That's an awful lot of friends you have there!"

"Yeah well we were all on the swim team together so that brought us all together I guess? Anyway that's Nagisa, Rin, Ai, Sousuke, Momo, and my sister Gou. Here in the middle is me , obviuosly, and on my left is Haru, my greatest rival, and finally on my right is Makoto. Hajime looked to the gentle giant Rin was enthusiasticslly pointing, seeing the slightly messy brown hair almost the same shade as his own only slightly longer and shaggier and his eyes. Those _eyes_. Grass green, honest, open and kind. Rin noticed for the briefest of moments Hajime's eyes darkened with some unknown emotion, anger perhaps? But why would Hajime be angry at Makoto? He didn't even know him!

Rin shook it off convinced he read Hajime's expression wrong. There was no way someone would react so strongly to someone they didn't know, right? Rin closed out of the picture and turned back to Hajime. "So, what do you want to do today? I was thinking we could do something different today!" Hajime agreed.

"Yeah, we should go to the park and go for a jog."

"That sounds good. We can work off some of our nerves and stress before the first mock tournamemt!"

"You're really focused for someone your age aren't you?" Rin flushed a little proud to be praised by his senior in such a way. Hajime paid for their dinner after insisting he was treating. They headed out and arrived at a beautiful park shrouded in little bushes and small trees. Rin pulled his hair up into a small pony tail and dared Hajime to a race.

"I'll be I can beat you, old man!"

"Old!? I'm not that old yet!" He laughed. "Alright first one to _that_ tree wins. Winner gets a prize."

"What kind of prize?"

"Anything they choose."

"You're on!" They crouched into starting position. 'too bad Rei wasn't here to give me tips, he _was_ the track teams' star member surprisingly enough.' Rin smiled at the thought, he wasn't partically close to Rei but he still missed him.

"Get ready...Go!" Hajime's voice rang out and they both took off. Rin was falling behind. He finished a mere few milliseconds behind Hajime.

"Man good race, I could hardly keep up! Alright, I'm a broke kid so make your prize cheap. What do you-mhmph!" Hajime forcefully grabbed his head and kissed him roughly. Their teeth clacked together, piercing Rin's lower lip. "Ngh!" Rin pulled back with a shocked expression.

"Huh, red looks good on you." Hajime stated as he smeared the crimson liquid from Rin's lower lip to his cheek. He then proceeded to walk away. Rin stood stunned. The guy just kissed him! Kissed him! Rin's first kiss, the kiss he had been waiting to give to someone special, Rin was a romantic after all. He wiped his lower lip and hissed, the sting of the cut on his lip bringing him out of his thoughts. Hajime wasn't a _bad_ guy but Rin knew he wasn't interested in him in _that_ way.

Rin shook his head and began his trek back to the dorms not seeing Hajime anywhere in sight. At that precise moment his phone began ringing. Makoto. Maybe if he talked to him his soothing voice would put Rin's buzzing nerves to rest. "Rin! I was so worried when you didn't reply to my text, you _always_ reply right away no matter where you are! Are you okay?" 

"Y-yeah! I'm totally fine. Why wouldn't I be?" Rin's voice sounded shaky, he could hear it, hopefully Makoto wouldn't notice.

"Rin what's wrong?" Damn it! Of course he would notice! This was _Makoto_ we were talking about after all. SaintTachibana, protector of all. Rin took a deep beath to steel himself and continued.

"Nothin'. Just went jogging with Hajime, probably haven't caughten my breath yet!"

"O-kay then." Makoto sounded skeptical. "Well I just wanted to call to see how things were going on with you."

Rin wanted so badly to listen to Makoto's voice, listen to it all day long, but he knew he would break down soon and Makoto, and maybe even Haru would worry. He could do this it was a stupid little kiss, if he couldn't deal with that then what kind of man was he? Besides he could always just reject Hajime later. "Well I'm getting tired so talk to you later?"

"Of course. Later, Rin." Rin hung up. He knew it was rude but he couldn't stay on the line any longer or he knew he would spill and Makoto would panic. No Rin could deal with this on his own, he didn't need anyone worrying over him. He was a big boy and could gather his courage and tell Hajime he wasn't interested and that was exactly what he was going to do tomorrow. Rin got to the dorms and decided he would got to sleep early and get an early headstart in the morning. That night was the first night Rin cried himself to sleep.

The next morning Rin pulked himself out of bed and washed his face pleased that his eyes were only the slightest bit puffy and ran out to begin practice. When he arrived he ran into Hajime and was relieved to find that everything seemed to be back to normal. "Hey Rin! Ready to train?" Rin nodded cautiously but walked up to Hajime regardless. Practice went normally, even better for the fact that Hajime even touched him less. Rin was getting redressed in the locker room and was about to head back to the dorm when he was cut off by Hajime.

"Hey Rin!" He had a fake smile plastered to his face which left Rin mildly worried.

"Hajime listen, about yesterday..." Hajime waited for him to continue. "I like you but just not in _that_ way. I really hope there's no hard feelings and we can still be friends." There, he said it. He was so proud of himself for gaining the courage to say that, Rin may have been agressive but when it came to wearing his heart on his sleeve he would clam up and be unable to share his feelings. Hajime just continued smiling causing Rin to fidget.

Suddenly Hajime grabbed him by the back of his hair and forced him to his knees. " _Really_ now, and what makes you think I'm interested in you? All I see is some pretty boy I can use for my own _entertainment_." He sighed. "I was going to be nice and seduce you but now you've left me no choice." Rin began hyperventilating as Hajime undid the button and zipper of his pants. "No need for underwear when they only get in the way, don't you agree?" He stroked his dick to hardness and grabbed Rin's jaw with the hand not grabbing his hair. "Be a good boy and open up, " he wretched Rin's jaw open. "And don't even _think_ about biting or I'll have you thrown off this team so fast."

Rin froze, he wouldn't, he _couldn't_ , but as he felt a hard warmth nudge his lips he knew this was just the beginning. "Hey, hurry up and _open_ up, whore!" Rin felt numb, he slowly parted his lips and Hajime wasted no time thrusting all the way in causing Rin to gag. Tears filled his eyes. "Heh, yeah just like that cry all you want, that's the way I like it!" He yanked Rin's hair harder pulling his head back. Rin was suffocating, he felt like he would vomit at any moment, not only from the intrusion abusing his gag reflex but from the sheer humiliation he felt. He was a man for Christ's sake! Why couldn't he push him away? Tell him 'no', do _something_ , _anything_! But he was paralyzed with fear.

"Hah, hah, don't even need to suck, your throat's all tight, good boy." Rin really wanted to vomit now. 'Good boy.' What was he? His son? Worse, a dog? Yes that's exactly what Rin felt like, a dog. A cold, lonely abandoned stray that had no purpose. Moments later his throat was filled, it was like the time he was five and he had accidentally swallowed ocean water, god, he _wished_ that was ocean water. "Swallow." Rin had no choice but to obey in fear of what Hajime would do to him. "If you want to be a champion, you'll stay quiet, right?" Rin nodded numbly. As Hajime left Rin collapsed to the floor.

An hour or so later Rin finally found the strength to drag himself to his dorm room, thanking any god out there that he didn't have to share a room with anyone. He cried, that was his first sexual experience gone, taken against his will, so he cried. For four hours straight he cried. Even when his phone rang he just threw it against the wall and cried. Why? Why was his dream being ruined, who hated him this much to cause his life to be such a living hell? He could deal with his personal failure in middle school but _this_? That was the first time in his entire life he didn't answer a phone call from Makoto and the second time he cried himself to sleep...


	3. Strength

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The worst thing Rin can imagine becomes a reality.

Three months into Rin's Olympic training he bagan dragging himself out of bed. Where Hajime had been demanding oral sex once a week had turned into every other day which became everyday. Rin felt humiliated and discouraged with himself every time, but he had to stay strong. Rin would finish his program and never have to face coach Hajime again. If Rin couldn't survive this well what kind of perseverence did he have?

Rin swam his best time that day. All his team mates whistled and cheered and offered a party, Rin accepted his party invitation hoping it would help him forget all the things he had been going through. As Rin walked through the door of one of his team mate's house, the house in which his celebratory party was being held, he internally laughed bitterly. The only reason he even made his best time that day was because he was envisioning swimming away from Hajime; it was fitting now that he was being honored for 'Rin and Hajime's hard work.'

' _Yeah, Hajime's hard work forcing his **dick** down my throat!'_ Rin thought bitterly to himself. There was loud music playing and many people drinking, one person offered Rin a beer claiming that he earned it. Rin shook his head and politely declined, there was no way he would let his guard down today, not while Hajime was lurking around. The guy just shrugged and walked away. Rin laughed and talked, forgetting about everything that had happened the last three months and found he was actually enjoying himself, maybe everything would be alright after all.

It was well past midnight by the time Rin decided to leave, exchanging goodbyes with some of the guys on hit team and thanking the host of the party. As Rin walked down a small path to the main road he sighed and looked up to the sky. It was a brisk night, the sky filled with milky white stars reminding him almost of a surrealist painting, real but nit quite. Rin paused to take a breath, things were going to be alright. He had texted all his friends from Iwatobi about his record and everyone texted back their well wishes for Rin but none were as sweet or blunt as Makoto and Haru's words. 'Good job, Rin! I knew you could do it, keep up the good work! We miss you! P.s. Haru says records mean nothing unless the water accepts you! ;)' 

Rin felt elated thinking about Makoto and Haru. He wished he could see them again. Let them know how he felt because now after years he finally figured it out for himself, he was in _love_ with them. No he didn't just love Haru or Makoto. He loved both. Lived for both. Haru pushed him to drive harder with his never-ending competitive drive while Makoto supplied sweet words of encouragement. Fire and ice, water and earth, both working in harmony, Rin couldn't live without either but could they function without him? He wanted to find out. He wanted to confess his feelings to them.

Rin was just about to take a step forward when a large hand grabbed his arm. "What the hell!?" He turned his face slightly to find himself face to face with his worst nightmare; Hajime.

"Where you goin', _bitch_?" He sneered, clearly intoxicated.

"Home."

"Not yet you're not. You still owe me a little gift you know for being the one to teach you how to swim an' all." Rin could see him loosening the tie of his dress shirt.

"No fucking way! Go get someone else to get you off!"

"Oh Rin! I was gonna settle for some head tonight but you're idea is _sssoooo_ much better!" He slurred.

Rin was confused. "What the hell, what 'idea'?"

"No ' _fucking_ ' way, was it?" Rin paled, no. No, no, no! That's not what he meant! There's no _way_ he would go that far. Rin's instincts took over and he tried fleeing, only to be thrown to the ground. No! This wasn't the way it was supposed to be, he was supposed to lose his virginity to someone he loved. There was going to be candles next to the soft white bed, they were going to kiss and caress each other until neither could take it anymore, and then finally he would be entered slowly and gently until both exploded with beautiful ecstacy. In other words he wanted to make love.

Hajime had torn his tie off and bound Rin's hands behind his back. Rin squirmed but he was no match Hajime's brute strength. He scrambled for Rin's belt and yanked it off and undid both of their pants. Rin kicked and tried to escape until Hajime threw him to the ground pushing his head into the ground. Rin sobbed. He never thought this would happen, not to him, not to anyone. "Bet you're a virgin, right? Damn you're gonna be so tight!" And that's when he thrust into Rin, a very drunk Hajime couldn't understand why he didn't go in the first time so instead of trying to prepare Rin in anyway he thrust harder. Rin screamed.

"Shut the fuck up!" Hajime shoved a hand over Rin's mouth. Rin bit him as hard as he could. "You fucker!" Hajime slammed Rin's head into the ground harder and picked Rin's belt off the ground. He shoved the belt partially into Rin's mouth effectively gagging him. Rin struggled against the tie but only succeded in giving himself burns on his wrists. The pain was getting worse and worse. His legs were shaking and he could hardly keep himself up.

"Yeah, feels so good you little slut. Bet you wish I was your little scrawny fag friend, the one with the black hair, or better yet that big dopey fag, huh? Don't think I didn't see the way you nearly came in your pants just talking about them you whore!" Rin was going numb, not only his body but also his mind. He couldn't think, couldn't feel. He sobbed until his vision began turning black around the edges. "You like this, right? Yeah, if you want to reach your dream just stay still, I'll take care of you." Rin couldn't stand it anymore succumbing to the pain and passed out. When he awoke the sky was slightly darker, he wasn't sure how long he was out for but he noticed his pants were still off but his wrists were no longer bound. He tried to stand up but couldn't, he crawled about a foot before he gave up whimpering in pain and shame. It was over. His dream was over. His life was over.

He collapsed and sobbed. He turned his head to see blood and cum soaking into the ground, no doubt both were the slimy feeling he felt dripping down his legs, but the blood. There was so much of it Rin was surprised he was still alive. His entire body felt like it had been torn into a million pieces. He faintly heard what sounded like someone yelling before he succumbed to the darkness once again.

When Rin awoke next he found himself surrounded by white. ' _Am I dead? Thank god, finally maybe I can get some piece now..._ ' Rin heard a knock and turned to the door. "Good morning, sir. How are you feeling today?" 'Today?' Did that mean he was out for longer than a day. He was about to open his mouth to ask how long he was out for when the nurse beat him to it. "About three days sweetheart." She looked so sympathetic, why? And then the whole terrifying experience came rushing back all at once.

"Is there anyone ypu need me to call?" Rin shook his head vehemently. "Do you know who did this?" Rin thought for a moment but realized that nothing would come of it if he admitted who did it, too afraid Hajime would retaliate, so he shook his head. "Would you like to file a police report?" For a third time Rin shook his head. The nurse's heart broke, she seen so many just like him, mostly female, but rape victims too terrified of the person who victimized them to say anything. The nurse instead turned to Rin's mefical chart describing to him everything the doctors needed to do to him including stitching his anus due to excessive damage, as she read Rin felt the tears building. After the nurse finished she turned to leave, she stopped for a minute. "If you change your mind..." And she left a paper listing emergency shelters for battered victims on his table. Rin finally allowed the sobs to come.

A week later Rin was in his dorm packing his bags. His team mates were shocked to say the least but Rin couldn't stay a second later, he needed to run, get out, get away from everyone, everything. He left the dorm and passed the pool, a smirking Hajime seeing him off. The day before he had booked a flight back to his home, back to Iwatobi. His mother and sister were going to let him back with open arms after vaugely telling them he was "sexually assaulted and needed to come home". He also begged and pleaded his family not to tell any of his friends and they agreed.

As he walked into the airport his phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Rin! You're mom just told us you quit and were coming home! What's wrong, why?" Came Makoto's hysterical voice.

"Everything's fine, I guess I just realized swimming's not my dream, it was my fathers'."

And that was the first time Rin had ever lied to a friend.


	4. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin's friends get worried.

"Haru, something's wrong with Rin." Haru agreed, but what? Four and a half months into his training and he decides it's not his dream anymore? Rin had been focused on this dream for _years_ , probably since before he could walk! Now he was just giving it all away? Not Rin, he was stubborn to a fault, when he wanted something he got it not matter how hard he tried. So giving up? That wasn't Rin, something had happened...

Rin arrived home to a sobbing mother and furious sister. Gou promising to murder and torture the 'freak' that hurt her 'precious brother'. Rin assured his mother and sister he was fine but requested them to turn down any of his friends if they came to see him. His mother was reluctant but acquiesed. Rin spent the rest of the day sleeping in his room, that is until the nightmares began. He bolted up and his door opened. " Onii-chan? Are you alright? I heard, um, some noise..." That's when Rin noticed that he must not have been screaming in his dream alone but out loud as well. "Yeah Gou, everything's fine." She nodded. "If you need anything let me know, okay?" "Yeah, sure. Thanks, Gou." She smiled and left. Rin threw himself back down into the sheets. He wasn't sure if he could do this, could he resume his life normally? He didn't think so, Hajime ruined his life and Rin was tired of trying. Tired of living, maybe things would be better if he wasn't around anymore. He was a major disappointment to his mother, and how could he be expected to be a good big brother and protect Gou when he couldn't even protect himself?

Five months had passed since he first landed in Australia and Rin was now back at home, his dream crushed. Rin was exhausted, he hadn't gotten a good nights sleep for the past two weeks he had been home; he decided to see a doctor. He went to the hospital, when he talked to the doctor he made sure to leave out the details of his ordeal just blaming his insomnia on stress. The doctor prescribed him some sleeping pills and sent Rin home with a worried look. Rin's mother tried convincing him to see a professional, a therapist, but Rin refused. He could deal with this on his own.

Nagisa had come to visit him that day but Rin refused to let him in his room. His mother shook her head sadly and apologized for Rin's rude behavior. Nagisa said it was fine, he would come again another day. This routine would continue day after day, each time someone new would arrive, be it Nagisa, Rei, Ai, Sousuke, or even Momo, but every day they were turned away. This pattern continued for a month before everyone was extremely worried, enough was enough.

His friends slowly began staying away but not once did they give up, they texted and called whenever they could. Nagisa decided that it was high-time to call a profesdional, someone who know all about thoughts and feelings, someone who could help Rin. It was time to call Makoto. "Mako-chan! It's Nagisa, I know we're all worried about Rin especially seeing as he's not contacting any of us! Something's wrong! We all know it but he won't tell any of us! You need to come down on your next break and get it out of him! Help us Mako-chan! You're our only hope!"

"I understand Nagisa. Haru and I both have a break in the next three weeks so we'll head over there as soon as possible. We're really worried about him too."

"Thank you so much Mako-chan!"

Makoto turned to Haru. "Haru, I think it's time we tell Rin how we feel. If there's something wrong with him maybe if he knows that we're there for him he'll open up and tell us what's wrong."

"I think that's a good idea." Makoto held Haru from behind and gently kissed his neck. 

"Don't worry, it'll be fine." Makoto slowly backed Haru into their bedroom. As they made their way to the bed they slowly undressed, first Haru's shirt then Makoto's pants. Next to go was Haru's pants followed by Makoto's shirt, lastly their hands groped for each others briefs and rolled them off each others legs. Haru laid back on the bef while Makoto retrieved the lube from the night stand. Haru spread his legs and Makoto settled himself in between.

Makoto opened the lubes cap with a ' _click_ ' and coated both his fingers and Haru's hole with the thick jelly. Haru shuddered from the cold sensation against his heated skin. Makoto used his index finger to rub around Haru's ass gently relaxing the muscle. They gently kissed filtering the air with sweet kisses and erotic squelching. Makoto was now up to two fingers and Haru was beginning to squirm. Makoto chuckled, "You always get so needy at the same point everytime."

"Hurry Makoto, I need you!"

"Patience Haru, I don't want to hurt you." He slowly worked in a third finger. Haru's cock was semi-hard already so Makoto took it in his large, warm hand and massaged the tip. 

"Ngh!"

"Feel good?"

"Yes, Makoto, more!"

Makoto slid his three fingers out of Haru's entrance and lubed up his own cock before positioning himself outside Haru's hole. He looked to Haru's eyes and communicated telepathically.

'Are you ready?'

'Please!'

'Anything for you Haru.'

Makoto pushed forward and Haru gasped clutching at Makoto's broad shoulders. He always loved the sensation of being filled. Makoto kissed and suckled Haru's neck and thrusted his hips until he filled Haru completely, balls lightly tapping Haru's ass cheeks. "Makoto, please move!" Makoto followed Haru's orders and pulled back canting his hips forward in an upward angle in hopes of hitting Haru's prostate. He tried slightly different angles until he noticed Haru's abdominals clench slightly. He had found it.

Haru was never vocal in bed but Makoto being the ever attentitive lover picked up on every cue Haru gave him. Makoto thrusted gently but firmly against that spot until Haru was quivering and taut.

"Haru! Oh Haru! Guh! Ah! I'm close! Haru!"

"Ngh!"

"Hah! Haa! Haa! Oh! Oh! Ah! Ahhhhnngh! Ahhhhhh!"

Makoto's spine arched thrusting his hips as far as they would go into Haru, his head was thrown back, eyes glossed over and a slight trail of salivia dripped down the right side of his mouth as he rode out his orgasm. Watching Makoto come undone was all it took for Haru's own orgasm to hit him, the warmth of Makoto's cum splattering his insides caused his own cum to shoot into Makoto's gentle hand.

"Hah! Hah! Hah! Haaaaa!. Haru, I love you." Haru loved the fact that his lover was such a vocal lover, it made the experience that much sweeter.

"Mmmm. I love you, too."

"More than water?" Makoto chuckled.

"More than water. More than anything. More than life itself, Makoto if you weren't around the stars would cease to shine, the sun refuse to rise, all the water in the world would dry up, the world would cease to exist because your bright smile would not be around to convince it to go on another day. Makoto, I love you, so much."

Makoto's eyes welled up in tears. "You're so romantic Haru! Haha!" Then in a smaller voice he said, "Do you love Rin that much?" Haru turned his head and whispered,

"...Yes..."

"Good because so do I."

Haru smiled and they caressed each other for a moment longer before Makoto pulled out with a wince, Haru only flinched but it was enough to let Makoto know he was uncomfortable. "Alright, time for a shower my little dolphin." Haru blushed at the pet name. As they shuffled into the bathroom Haru turned towards Makoto.

"Do you think we can help Rin?" Makoto merely smiled.

"We can try. I think if we love him enough he'll realize ye can trust us." Haru smiled, he liked that plan. Little did they know it would take a _lot_ of love and trust to get Rin back to a semi-normal life.


	5. Reflections and Objections

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin thinks about what happened to him but refuses to accept help, will a soft voice and gentle hands convince him otherwise?

Rin laid in bed, it had been two and a half months since he returned home. The doctor he was seeing began giving Rin alternative methods for falling asleep so Rin stopped seeing him altogether, he didn't need stress management, he needed sleep. But between his friends and family annoying him to get help and his dreams of ' _him_ ' he couldn't catch a break.

Rin was desperately trying to sleep with the lack of any sleep aids when a small knock on his door interrupted his concentration. "Rin, sweetheart? Are you up? You have some friends who came for a visit..."

"Tell Nagisa to go away."

"Rin? It's me." No, no, no nonononono, _NO!_ The last person he wanted to see, the sweet, gentle, kind, understanding and undeniably saintly Makoto Tachibana. Rin didn't know if he could stand to see his face without breaking down. "Haru's here too Rin, we just want to talk. If you're not up for it we can come back later." Haru was there too? Why would they both come for him? Did they care about him enough to travel all the way from Tokyo to Iwatobi just for _him_? Rin shook his head, no there must be some kind of motive. But still... 

Rin got up and shuffled to his door. He opened it slightly, then a little more. The sight that greeted Makoto and Haru was shocking to say the least. Rin stood there, his once pretty chery red hair stood on ends as if it hadn't been brushed in weeks, which it hadn't. His skin was an alarming shade of white, almost translucent. He had two large black bags underneath each eye; both eyes were also red and puffy from the lack of sleep and amount of crying he suffered. He had also lost a considerable amount of weight due to his refusal to leave his room only eating when his mother brought his meals to him. In other words Rin was the epitome of a train wreck.

Rin realized this too little too late, though. He glanced up and took once glance at Haru and Makoto's expressions, horror, grief, pain, sadness, pity, shock and something else he couldn't quite describe. He took one step back in order to shut his door when Haru suddenly lungef forward. "Oh no you don't! It took us too damn long to get through to you so you're not going to shut us out now!" Haru physically jammed the door with his own body. Rin stood shocked, he couldn't believe Haru had just done that. Even Makoto seemed surprised by his actions. Rin backed down and let them in.

"Rin, we wanted to talk to you. Not only to find out what's wrong with you but also, well, um, there's something we wanted to tell you." Rin sighed and sat on his bed resigned to his fate. He had to come up with a lie, and fast. There was no way he could tell these two perfect beings what had transpired in Australia. He didn't want to see their faces when he described to them how low, disgusting and dirty he had become. He was about to open his mouth to spout another lie, all he could do these days was lie, when Makoto cut him off.

"Rin we love you. Haru and I, we both love you. We want to _be_ with you." Haru took over.

"In other words we want to date you." Makoto blushed heavily while Haru's cheeks flushed a slight shade of pink. Rin was stunned.

"What?"

"We love you, Rin, be with us." Makoto smiled in agreement to Haru's statement. Rin couldn't believe what he just heard. All this time his pining, his heartache, everytime he tried to discourage thoughts of his messed-up idea of a relationship between the three of them when all he had to do was admit his feelings first? If he had told them would he have been in a relationship with them now? Would he have stayed in Tokyo and moved into an apartment with them where they would smile together, laugh together? Would they be at home right now making love because they hadn't seen each other for so long during the busy college term?

"You bastards!" Rin swung his fist as hard as he could and hit the closest thing to him, Makoto's beautiful face.

"Uhnn!" Makoto fell to the ground clutching his face, his right eye already beginning to swell. Haru crouched next to him rubbing his back.

"What the hell, Rin!"

"What the hell is right! You expect me to throw myself to the ground because you said you're in love with me?! Well here's a news flash flash _Haru_ , when you get some random guys dick shoved up your ass while you're crying and sobbing and begging him to stop would you fall into the arms of the next guy thst came waltzing in claiming to _love_ you? Where were you guys when I needed you then, huh?" Rin sunk from his bed to the floor, back turned to Haru and Makoto. With a small voice and a sob Rin repeated, "Where were you then?"

The room was filled with silence.

"Rin." Makoto was the first to speak. "You were raped?" A sob escaped Rin and his shoulders shook. "Is that why you quit? You couldn't be around the person that did this? Was it someone on your team?" Rin just cried harder, he didn't reply, couldn't, not with the sobs wracking his chest. "Rin..." Makoto's voice was shaking. "Rin, I...I didn't, 'hic', know Rin. I-I'm so, s-s-so sorry!" Makoto cried right alongside Rin. Haru's expression was murderous. He could have done this to their beautiful, perfect if not hot-headed and mildly selfish, Rin. Outwardly Haru looked furious, inwardly his heart had shattered.

Makoto reached out for Rin and Rin flinched. Makoto was torn, who had hurt Rin so badly that he was afraid of even his best friends touch? He let his hand drop back to his side. "Rin, we're staying." Haru shot him an incredulous look. "You need someone's help, Rin. Someone more than even me, more than Haru." Makoto turned to Haru, "I'll call the school and let them know we need to take a hiatus to deal with an emergency tomorrow. Haru nodded, Makoto always knew what to do, he loved that part of him.

"Rin, we're also seeing someone tomorrow. A professional to help you." Rin shook his head. " _No!_ " Haru and Rin gaped at Makoto, that was the first time they had ever heard Makoto raise his voice to either of them. "No Rin, we're going to see a professional, you're going to a therapist no 'if's' 'and's' or 'but's', understood?" Rin's eyes filled with tears all over again.

"But..."

"Ah, ah, ah! What did I just say? We care about you Rin and there's no way you can deal with this on your own, alright?" His eyes softened. "Rin, we want you to be able to talk to someone who has dealt with situations like this and can help you cope so you can move on and _live_! I don't want to see you just existing like you are now, I want to see you live, I want to see you _thrive_!" Haru cut in.

"I do too. Rin, Makoto is the earth, I am the water but both are cold and lonely without fire. Rin you need to move on from the past, you need to regain your fire, _we_ need your fire. Talk to someone, Rin. Get your fire back so you can help us."

Rin nealry cried all over again. They didn't think he was dirty, they didn't reject him. But that didn't mean they still loved him did it? "I'll see someone then. But..." Rin stopped. Makoto's concerned eyes fell upon him.

"What's wrong, Rin?"

"Do you guys, even after hearing that, do you guys, well, um, do you..." He finished in a small voice, "still love me? Even if I'm not ready to have sex, yet?"

"What a stupid question." Makoto and Rin looked at Haru in shock. "Of course we still love you. Why the hell wouldn't we?" Rin turned to Makoto for reassurance.

"Of course we love you Rin. We will always love you. _Always_." 

Rin's heart melted. He wished he could give himself to them but he wasn't ready just yet, not for a long time, but maybe one day he would be able to and he could erase his last memories and relive his first time over with Makoto and Haru. It would be the sweet and gentle first time he had always wished for. Makoto and Haru convinced all of their parents to allow them to stay over, Mrs. Matsuoka was glad that someone had finally reached out to Rin enough where he would allow them into his room. Mrs. Matsuoka was also shocked to see Makoto's black eye, Makoto just laughed it off claiming to be klutzy and hit his head on one of Rin's shelves but gratefully accepted the ice pack she provided for him.

Later that night as Haru and Makoto settled in together on the provided futon for the night, after Mrs. Matsuoka's apologies of only having one futon, Rin turned to face them. "I'm really sorry about your eye Makoto, I just got frustrated."

"No problems Rin. I understand." Rin grunted.

"Haru, kiss it better!" Both Haru and Makoto smiled at Rin's demand.

"Gladly." Rin blushed and fidgeted to the light kissing noise filtering through his room.

"There, all better." Makoto chuckled.

"Thank you, Rin. Thank you, Haru."

"Goodnight Haru, goodnight Makoto."

"Goodnight, Rin. Love... _yawn_...you..."

"Hehe! Sorry, Rin, Haru's had a long day so he's really tired. Haha! Goodnight Rin, I love you."

Rin waited until he heard Haru's breathing even out and Makoto's light snores fill the room. "Goodnight, to both of you. I love you, both." Rin smiled to himself and closed his eyes. Maybe he could make it through this with Makoto at his side. He closed his eyes praying he wouldn't have any nightmares tonight.


	6. Comforts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin sees a therapist...

Two a.m. It was approximately this time every night he would wake up to cold sweats and screams. This night was no exception. Makoto was the first to wake so he was the first to reach Rin. In the darkness all Rin could see was mouse brown hair and a largely built male coming towards him. Rin thought he was safe, thought he had made it back home and was sleeping safe and sound in his bed but maybe that was all a dream because right now Hajime was back and walking towards him.

"Rin? Are you alright, Rin?" Rin flailed, hopefully he would kick him and he would finally leave Rin alone. Makoto backed off, Rin was clearly somewhere else in his mind and thought Makoto was a threat, he turned to Haru who was now wide awake watching the scene with wide eyes. "Haru, I think Rin thinjs I'm someone else, maybe you should help him." Haru nodded and walked towards Rin.

"Rin..." Rin opened his eyes and found himself staring into bright blue eyes. _His_ blue eyes.

"Noooo! Get away! Leave me alone! Please! Please! Just leave! Find someone else! Please!" Rin was sobbing now, clearly distressed. Makoto flicked on the light of Rin's room. It was then that Rin found himself back on his bed with Haru and Makoto staring down at him. "I...ngh..." Rin broke down. How on earth would Makoto and Haru love him now that they seen how much of a nutcase he had become.

"Rin..." Makoto started in a gentle voice. He slowly lowered himself onto the bed next to Rin. "It's okay sweetheart. You're fine, it's just us." Makoto tentatively held an arm out towards Rin. Rin couldn't take it anymore and lunged into Makoto's arms. Makoto wrapped him in his arms gently, soothingly. "Shh. It's okay, baby. Everything's fine." Makoto ran his hands through Rin's messy locks and Rin cried harder. How could someone as perfect as Makoto exist? Rin felt a weight on his other side.

He turned his face away from Makoto's shoulder to see Haru settling himself next to both Rin and Makoto. Haru scooted closer to them and gently placed his hand on Rin's back. He began rubbing his back in slow, soothing circles. Rin couldn't stop the tears now, he had the two best friends anyone could ask for right here trying to comfort him. Rin cried even harder realizing that Makoto and Haru wasn't just his friends anymore, no, they were his boyfriends now. Haru moved closer and wrapped his arms around Rin along side Makoto. Rin felt caged between the two, not a fearful inescapable caged like with Hajime, no, he felt safe and warm, protected and sheltered. They held each other through out the night and before they knew it they had fallen asleep like that, entangled in each other. Rin didn't have another nightmare the rest of the night.

When morning arrived Rin's mother went to go check on her son. As she opened the door the first thing she noticed was the empty futon. Upon further inspection she saw that Rin, Haru and Makoto were all scrunched together on Rin's bed. Makoto lying on Rin's right with Rin's head on his chest while  
Haru was spooning Rin from behind on his left. She smiled at the serene smiles gracing each one of their faces and quietly shut the door.

Makoto was the first to rise, being a morning person, and looked over to Rin and Haru. He smiled realizing that now he not only had one boyfriend to coax awake but two. "Rin, Haru, it's time to get up sleepy heads. C'mon, don't make me wait, or I'm going to have to _tickle_ you!" Haru was the next to wake up, whether it was just in his nature to wake up after Makoto did or it was the threat of being tickled that woke him up will never be known. Haru blinked owlishly at Makoto then looked down to Rin.

"Rin you better wake up or Makoto will tickle you, for real. He did it to me the first morning in our apartment. "

"Mmmhnn! No, jus' five more minutes!" Rin snuggled further into Makoto's chest.

" _Riiiiin_!" Makoto held his fingers teasingly above Rin's ribs. Haru smirked. "Five," Rin pushed his head into Makoto and huffed, "four," a pause, " _th-reee_ ," Haru backed up in preparation for the ensuing 'battle', "two, one!" Makoto pounced, his fingers wiggling relentlessly against Rin's sides in an attempt to not only get him up but also to find all his ticklish spots. Rin squirmed until Makoto found his most sensitive spot, directly on his side about the fourth rib down, and Rin _squealed_. Makoto stopped and all three looked shocked not expecting such a reaction. Even Rin was shocked.

The break only lasted a moment until Makoto continued tickling that same spot relentlessly. "N-no! Haha! M-M-Makoto, stop! Hehe! Ha! Ha! I-I can't, hahaha, brea-the!" Makoto ceased his torment and ruffled Rin's hair. 

"Awake now, sweetheart." Rin grunted, clearly disgruntled.

"Told you he'd tickle you for real." Haru leaned over and placed a kiss to Rin's cheek. Rin flushed, not used to such gentle treatment.

"Alright, alright. I'm up, I'm up!" Rin crossed his arms, Makoto kissed his temple.

"Good morning, beautiful." 

"W-what?!" Rin was positively floored. How could Makoto say such sweet yet embarassing things with such a straight face. Haru seemed to read his mind.

"Don't worry about it too much, he's always like that." Rin grumbled and slowly dragged himself out of bed.

"Mmmm. I love the both of you! You're both so cute!" Rin tripped on his bed sheets.

"Why you!"

"You'll get used to it, I did. Makoto's very vocal, _especially_ when he's in a bed, right?" Makoto had the decency to blush.

"Oh my _god_! You're _both_ way to embarassing! I'm starving, let's get some breakfast." They all headed to the kitchen where Rin's mother and Gou were waiting for them. Rin sat down while Makoto and Haru pulled a chair up on either side of him. Haru opened his mouth ti speak.

"Mrs. Matsuoka please give Makoto and I your son." Rin spit his orange juice clear across the room whil Makoto just gaped. Gou stared at them, her eyes practically shining while Mrs. Matsuoka turned to them with a light smile on her face.

"What did you say, dear?"

"I said Makoto and I are in love with your son and would like your blessing."

"Makoto, dear, is this true?" Makoto nodded silently. "And Rin?" Rin ducked his head and mumbled.

"I love them too..." Gou squeaked. His mother shook her head. She could hardly wrap her head around a homosexual relationship nevermind a three way relationship. _But_ if it made her son happy she would be happy... She nodded.

"If it makes you three happy then I approve." Rin lit up. He jumped from his seat and grabbed his mother into a hug.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Rin was so happy his mother agreed, he would have been in a relationship with them regardless but having his mother's approval took the guilt off his shoulders.

"Thank you, Mrs. Matsuoka. We will treasure him." Haru nodded.

"Thank you so much Mrs. Matsuoka! We'll love your son forever, I promise!" Makoto declared teary eyed. Gou gaped. Everyone turned to look at her.

"My brother...Makoto-senpai and Haru-senpai as my brother-in-laws...so many _muscles_!" Gou then proceeded to mumble incoherently to herself apparently suffering a brain overload. Rin smiled, happy to have not only two wonderful boyfriends willing to get his mother's approval but also such an accepting family. Rin played footsies with Haru and Makoto under thr kitchen table for the rest of breakfast.

Rin steeled himself, Makoto had booked his therapy appointment for that afternoon. Rin now stood in front of the large sterile looking building. "You'll do fine Rin, do you want us to stay with you?" Rin shook his head, he could do this. Afterall Makoto and Haru didn't need to hear the details of his rape just yet, he would get to that later. As Rin sat in the lobby he noticed a large fish tank filled with tons of tropical fish. He laughed to himself picturing Haru trying to dive into it.

"Rin Matsuoka?" Rin perked up. The therapist was a small, congenial looking woman. Rin stood up and followed her into the back...

Rin left his appointment an hour later, eyes red and puffy. He had talked to the therapist about his experience and the therapist gave him an exercise to complete for his next session. He was to write a letter to Hajime explaining all his feelings about what he had done to him and bring it with him next time. The second part of his assignment was to tell the closest person to him about his experience in detail. The therapist probably thought he would tell someone like his mother or even his sister but when his therapist suggested it the only thing that came mind was a set of gentle green eyes and cool blue eyes.

Rin took a deep breath and headed out of the lobby and stepped out into the sun. Makoto was scolding Haru for trying to jump into the fountain outside the building, Rin smiled. Makoto spotted him and waved him over. He handed Rin one of the two sodas in his hands. " How was it, Rin? Are you okay?" Rin nodded.

"Yeah but my therapist gave me an assignment so can we go somewhere private? There's something I need to talk about." His palms were sweating and his heart was racing. He wasn't sure he'd be able to do this but he'd try.


	7. Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin tells Makoto and Haru the story of Hajime, and some boundaries are set.

Rin's hands are shaking, his throat is tight and he feels like he's choking on his words. He needs to get this out, he needs to le let them both know what _exactly_ happened in Australia. He takes a deep breath and opens his mouth. He closes it and tries again. He snaps his mouth shut, jaw clenched tight and tries to focus on getting the words out. Haru and Makoto are seated opposite from him in Makoto's old home, his parents and siblings out for the day at the aquarium. Makoto reaches out and strokes the side of Rin's face.

"It's okay, take your time. I know this is probably hard for you, we can forget about it and talk another day even if that's what you need to do." Rin swallows and closes his eyes. He retells his story to the both of them starting all the way from meeting Hajime at the pool to waking up in the hospital to the surgery that needed to be performed to fix his anal fissures. He talked about the ridiculous diaper-like gauze contraption he needed to wear to catch any blood and how he couldn't go to the bathroom normally for weeks.

He told them about the nightmares he suffered, the way he feared _he_ would show up, ready to take Rin all over again. He didn't leave out one gruesome detail and when he was done he took a shuddering breath and opened his eyes. Makoto was in front of him silently crying and beside him Haru looked outraged, but even he had tears in his eyes. Rin froze. This was the first time he had actually gone into detail about his rape with _anyone_ , and it terrified him. It terrified him because suddenly, after all this time, speaking about it outloud suddenly made it _real_. He could no longer play it off as a strange nightmare he had and go back to his normal life, this happened, he had to deal with it. And that absolutely terrified him.

"So it was your coach that did this?" Rin nodded to Makoto.

"Did you tell anyone?" Rin turned his head to Haru and shook his head. "Why not?"

"Would you want to tell anyone your coach was raping you? Besides who would believe a guy? I'm not some young girl, a guy could have fended him off, that's what they'd say." They were all silent but they knew there was a stigmatism against male rape and it killed a little piece of all of them. Makoto spoke up first.

"Thank you Rin. For telling us. For not leaving out a single detail. Now it's time to set boundaries." Two sets of eyes looked to Makoto but he just nodded and continued. "We need to know what Rin's comfortable with right now so we don't push him, we need him to recover, not push him back, so we need to work on things that remind him of the past and build up from there. We need to work slowly, meaning we need to build boundaries and give Rin enough space so he can feel safe and trust us. To build a trusting relationship." Haru and Rin stared at Makoto after his long winded speech, both feeling impressed by his seemingly never-ending wisdom.

"So let's test your boundaries, then." Haru grabbed Rin's hand. "Is this okay?" Rin nodded. Next Haru wrapped his arms around Rin's torso. "And this?" Again Rin nodded. Haru began leaning in for a kiss. He was about an inch away from Rin's lips when Makoto cut in.

"Haru, stop!" Haru shot Makoto an annoyed look but immediately regretted it when he turned back to Rin and saw his wide eyes and clamped jaw. Rin was scared.

"Alright, we found your boundary, it's okay now." Makoto slung an arm around Rin's shoulder and Rin buried his head into Makoto's chest reveling in the protective embrace.

"I'm sorry Rin." Haru mumbled.

"It's fine, you didn't know. Hell, _I_ didn't even know!" Rin turned to Haru and wrapped his arms around him. Haru returned the embrace and they sat like that for a long time.

"Hey! Don't forget about me!" Makoto snuck his head in between the two of them. All three of them laughed, Haru and Rin held Makoto while Makoto held the both of them. They cuddled like that until Makoto's parents arrived back home. The three of them got up and joined Makoto's family downstairs. Haru and Rin offered to help Mrs. Tachibana in the kitchen while Makoto just laughed and offered to watch the children, claiming he was a disaster waiting to happen when it came to cooking, alk three turned to him and stated 'we know' at the same time followed by raucous laughter. Apparently they had all suffered Makoto's cooking at one time or another.

"So," Mrs. Tachibana started. "I hear from Mrs. Matsuoka that you three boys are 'involved'?" The two boys visibly paled. "Now, now, no need to get all anxious. I'm sure you two have Makoto's best interest at heart but be careful with him, he's always been a fragile soul." They both relaxed, how could they have forgotten how sweet, kind and understanding Mrs. Tachibana was? And when it came to her husband, well, Mrs. Tachibana was the ruler of the Tachibana household and anything she said was final so there were no worries on that front. As Haru left the kitchen to check on Makoto to make sure he, Ren and Ran weren't completely destroying the house Mrs. Tachibana turned to Rin.

"And I'm sure my son will take good care of you too, Rin. Please have faith in him and trust him. Also, I'm here for moral support too, okay?" Rin realized his mother must have spoken to Makoto's mother about what happened to him. He hugged Mrs. Tachibana and she held him back. His support team was building and he was feeling more and more confident about himself. "Well let's get the table set and get dinner started shall we?" Rin nodded and began helping Mrs. Tachibana.

As they all sat at the dinner table, with Rin in the middle and Haru and Makoto on either side of him he couldn't help but feel uncomfortable. "Yuck!" Ren suddenly cried. Ran shouted back to him,

"Stop being such a meanie!"

"But look at them! They're being all lovey-dovey, kissy face over there!"

"So what?! They can do that they're married now!"

"What? Who? Mako-niichan and Haru-niichan? Mako-niichan and Rin-niichan? Or Haru-niichan and Rin-niichan?"

"All three of them _dummy_!" Makoto spit his drink out.

"Ren! Ran! Come on now, no name calling. Besides we're not married, right guys?" Makoto turned to Haru and Rin for support.

"Yet." Was the only answer Haru supplied, Rin snorted. This was going to be a loooong and colorful night. After dinner the entire family decided that Rin and Haru should just spend the night seeing as it was already late and they agreed. Ren and Ran cheered with an exclamation of 'sleepover!' while Rin was just glad he didn't have to go home and spend the night alone. After countless hours of playing video games with the twins followed by a massive bath between all of them, because the twins insisted bath time was 'no fun without all our niichan's' to which Rin blushed, Haru rolled his eyes and Makoto chuckled, they finally settled down into bed.

Rin lay awake thinking about the future. Makoto was already heavily asleep and snoring as was Haru minus the snoring. Rin looked to the left and then to the right, he still couldn't believe how lucky he was to gave such caring people in his life. He snuggled down deeper into the bkankets and smiled. He stopped for a moment, was he _really_ ready for what he was about to do tomorrow. He knew he wouldn't get down to the nitty-gritty details like he did with Haru and Makoto but it was still a big step. He closed his eyes tightly and tried to go to sleep.

Rin would rather sleep than face the inevitable, especially after the message he sent earlier that day. He knew this was something he needed to do if he were to ever move on but he was nervous all the same. He breathed in the heavy, almost manly smell of ocean to his right, he smiled, that was Haru. He then took in the almost feminine floral scent to his left, Makoto. He wondered what he smelled like to the two of them, did he smell good? He hoped so.

He started to drift off and almost forgot about the identical messages sent to Nagisa, Rei, Sousuke, Ai and hell, he even sent a message to his former captain Seijuurou and his little brother Momo. The message said, 'meet me at the park at two tomorrow, there's something important I need to tell you guys...'


	8. Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin gathers his courage to tell the rest of the team what happened...

The next morning Rin woke with large bags under his eyes. He could hardly sleep the night before due to nerves and it was really showing. Makoto was as supportive as ever.

"Rin what's wrong, are you worried about today? You're friends won't judge you, we all care about you and we'll help you, all of us." Makoto took his hand. Haru came up beside him and took his other hand.

"Of course Rin, we'll all help you." He placed a sweet kiss to Rin's cheek. Rin smiled and blushed. 

"Thanks guys, I know, I guess I'm just nervous. I'm not even going to go into any details but I'm scared what they'll think."

"It didn't change what we thought did it?" Rin shook his head.

"Then don't worry, they're just as good of friends to you as we are, you'll be fine."

The three of them arrived at the park at the arranged time to find every single one of their friends waiting for them. Rei was scolding Nagisa about trying to coax one of the birds in the park to come with him using the infamous Iwatobi-chan bread he seemed so fond of. Next to them Seijuurou was picking on his little brother Momo and trying to ingrain new swimming techniques into him while Ai looked on in disbelief and Sousuke just looked annoyed.

"Hey guys!" Rin waved over to them. Nagisa came running over to him at break-neck speeds.

"Rin-chaaaan!"

"Rin-san, hello." Rei bowed respectfully.

"Rin (senpai was added by Momo), hey!" Seijuurou and Momo said in unison.

"Senpai! I'm so happy to see you!" Followed an enthusiastic Ai.

"Rin, good to see you." Sousuke nodded towards him. 

Rin was glad to see all his friends again. They chose a sight by the back of the park so they wouldn't disturb anyone else but also so they could have privacy and no eaves-droppers would hear what Rin was going to say. They all played a couple of childish games like hide-and-go-seek and tag followed by a lengthy chat to catch up with each other. After the conversation dwindled down Rin cleared his throat.

"So...about why I called you guys here..." Everyone turned their heads, giving Rin their full attention. Everything was completely silent, most of the rest of the people and families in the park had left. " Well, um, back in Australia, uh..." Makoto grabbed his shoulder and smiled down at him. Rin turned to Haru who nodded and grabbed his hand. It had been three days since Rin's first therapy appointment, maybe he was rushing, but no, if he didn't do this now he would never do it. He took a deep breath and found his resolve.

"Back in Australia, I had a coach. His name was..." He paused, did his friends really need to know his name? Yes, yes they did. "Hajime. And he..." His voice choked up. "He...raped me..." Everyone was dead silent. Nagisa was the first to react. He slowly walked up to Rin and wrapped his arms around him calmly and silently embracing him.

"I'm so sorry Rin-chan. Don't worry, though, I'm here for you." Rei nodded,

"Of course Rin-san. We're here for you."

"..." Momo was speechless so Seijuurou stepped in for him.

"Stay strong Rin, you'll get through this and we'll help." He clasped Rin's shoulder in his large hand.

"Senpai..." Ai was close to tears. "I'll be here for you! Everyone will! I believe in you! You can make it through this!" He nodded resolutely. Nagisa removed himself away from Rin with his eyes bright and threatening tears. Sousuke was the last to react. He pulled Rin into a tight embrace almost crushing him.

"Rin," his voice sounded suspiciously shaky, "I'm gonna kill that bastard!" Rin sobbed. He had such wonderful friends, how could he ever doubt them? Rin held Sousuke right back. After a few moments they let each other go. "Rin, if you ever need to talk let me know, okay?" He then glanced at Makoto and Haru. "And both of you, you better not hurt Rin. I'll be watching you." Momo looked at him in confusion.

"What do you mean, Sousuke-senpai?" Nagisa turned to them in disbelief.

"They're dating idiot!"

"Huuuh? Which ones?"

"All three of them, dummy!" Everyone looked stunned and turned to Rin, Haru and Makoto. Makoto rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, Haru nodded and Rin blushed deeply. Seijuurou laughed loudly.

"Well about time! I knew there was something fishy going on between those three! Haha! "Fishy", get it? They all swim so they're like fish! Ahahaha!" Everyone seemed to be drawn out of their stupor at Seijuurou's extremely lame joke. Ai looked disappointed but after a moment he perked up. 

"Congratulations, Senpai!" He gave Rin a rushed hug and blushed, he would be happy if Rin was happy. Rei and Nagisa looked slightly uncomfortable. Nagisa spoke up first.

"Rei-chan and I are dating, too." Haru just rolled his eyes.

"Well we all knew that!" Everyone laughed but had to agree. Sometimes Rei and Nagisa were too obvious for their own good. Sousuke shook his head sarcastically.

"Damn, am I the only straight guy here?" Everyone laughed. Seijuurou pat his left shoulder, his good shoulder, and uttered a deep laugh.

"No way, man! I've got a sweet, pretty young girl that I've got a date with right after this!"

"Thank god, I didn't think I could stand all these homo's." Rin playfully pushed Sousuke and Sousuke laughed back. "Yeah, yeah, I get it, you love them. I'm happy for you guys." Sousuke said with a tender look in his eye. Momo spoke up.

"Hey! Ai-chan and I are totally straight! Right Ai-chan?!" Ai looked away bashfully. "Ai-chan?" Rin walked over and put an arm around Ai.

"Sorry, Ai. You like me, don't you?" Ai sniffled.

"Yeah, senpai. But don't worry, I'm happy for you!"

Momo grabbed Ai from behind. "Ai-chan I hate seeing you sad, cheer up!" Ai smiled slightly, maybe Momo wasn't so bad.

They laughed and talked for a while longer until Seijuurou got up proclaiming that he needed to leave for his date. Rin vaugely remembered his sister getting all dressed up that morning apparently excited for a date.

"Hey! Who's that girl you've got a date with?" Seijuurou walked a few feet away before turning slightly and replying sheepishly,

"Her name's...Gou."

Rin was going to kill that red-headed captain.

After they all said their goodbyes Rin, Haru and Makoto headed back to Rin's house for the night. As soon as Rin got home he sat down at his desk and began writing his letter for his therapy assignment. A few hours later Makoto came up behind him.

"Rin, you should take a bath and get ready for bed it's getting late." Makoto leaned down to give Rin a kiss on the cheek at the same time Rin turned in his chair. Makoto's lips gently graced Rin's and both of their eyes widened. Haru smiled from the edge of the bed, Rin didn't look the least uncomfortable, instead the only emotion that graced his face seemed to be surprise.

"Rin! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean too! Are you alright?" Rin stared at Makoto in shock, what was this feeling? His heart was fluttering. It was a kiss but only a peck, no tongue or salivia, just a small token of affection. Dare he think he was moving on?

"Makoto."

"Y-y-yes, Rin?"

"Again."


	9. Moving On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin takes the next step in moving on. Makoto and Haruka are there to help.

Makoto couldn't believe it. Had Rin really said what he thought he did? Did Rin really just say that he wanted _more_? Makoto turned to Haru who apparently was just as stunned as he was. Makoto cupped Rin's cheek. "Are you sure?" Rin nodded. He didn't know why but the feeling he had after telling his friends what happened and seeing their acceptance he felt like he could finally start moving on.

"But, just kissing for today, okay?" Makoto didn't look put out.

"Of course Rin. We'll take it at your pace." Makoto leaned back down and brushed his lips against Rin's. Haru moved from the bed to the floor next to the two of them. Makoto parted his lips and gently nipped Rin's lips. Rin could taste something sweet on Makoto's lips, it tasted like pineapple and Rin wondered if it was something Haru had cooked for him. _Probably pineapple with mackeral_ , Rin internally laughed. All thoughts soon left his mind as soon as Makoto's tongue touched Rin's lips. 

Makoto pulled his head back slightly and murmered against Rin's lips, "Is this, okay? We can stop if you want." Rin shook his head.

"No, keep going." Makoto nodded and pressed his lips back to Rin's. Rin took deep breaths while Makoto traced his lips with his tongue. Rin had to keep reminding himself that this was not like the last time he was kissed. This wasn't Hajime forcing his tongue down his throat, this was Makoto, sweet, kind, gentle Makoto who would take his time and ask Rin if he was fine after every little change. Rin finally parted his own lips, bringing his tongue out to touch Makoto's hesitantly. Rin felt the slide of tongue against tongue and moaned.

He was surprised to realize that the kiss didn't feel over powering, it wasn't an act of dominance rather an act to show mutual feelings, to share mutual pleasure. Makoto shifted his hand from Rin's cheek to his hair gently stroking. Makoto's kisses became slightly more frantic, mouths moving and sliding against each other. Makoto pulled back. Both of there faces were flushed and they were panting heavily. Haru crawled forward towards Rin. "It's my turn now." Haru pressed his lips to Rin's starting with open mouthed kisses immediately.

Rin was in a daze. Haru's tongue was licking every inch of his mouth. His kisses were slightly more dominant than Makoto's but no less pleasurable. Rin threaded his fingers through Haru's hair, it was slightly coarse from being constantly dried out from the chlorine in the pool but that was what made Haru who he was so Rin loved the feling of it. Makoto looked on and realized he was getting hard. The two most beautiful people he loved were making out in front of him, how couldn't he feel aroused? But still Makoto being the self sacrificing person he was felt guilty. Rin and Haru pulled apart, stilk connected by a string of salivia that broke apart when Haru licked his lips. Rin was in a stupor, he was just kissed senseless by not one, but _two_ gorgeous guys who loved him.

Haru noticed Makoto's little problem and raised a brow. Makoto shook his head slightly and Haru nodded. Rin was shocked, he made it passed the first step of his relationship. He had actually made it alk the way to kissing. He sobered up slightly from his haze and realized there was salivia smeared across his entire mouth so he licked it off. He could taste both Makoto and Haru on his tongue and the thought alone was enough to arouse him. He looked to his two boyfriends sheepishly. "S-sorry, um, toilet..." Was his only explanation before he left the room.

"Haru, do you really think Rin was ready for that?"

"Based on 'little' Rin's reaction I believe so." Makoto smiled knowing that Haru was most likely right. Meanwhile in the bathroom Rin touched himself. He could still feel the way both of their tongues moved in his mouth, Makoto's gentle and giving while Haru's was passionate and dominating. Rin thought he would be terrified of a dominating kiss but realized that the _way_ Haru dominated the kiss was not in a controlling way but in a way that told Rin that he was safe and could relinquish control without fear. Rin moaned at the feeling he got thinking about both of them while thumbing the head of his cock.

His body began twitching before he froze and orgasmed. His cum came long and hard coating his entire hand and the floor. "Shit." He realized that he hadn't even felt sexually aroused since the time he came home never mind actually masturbating. He unwrapped some toilet paper from the roll and began wiping up two months worth of cum. As he opened the door to the bedroom the first thing he noticed was Makoto hastily zipping up his pants while Haru was wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. 

"So who's hungry?" Rin asked awkwardly.

"I already ate."

"Haruuu!"

Rin balked. "Haru, that's disgusting!" Haru just smirked. "Fine, fine, you win. Pervert."

"You two were the one's who got hard just from kissing." Makoto and Rin looked embarassed. "It's fine though, perverted I or not I love you both." They both blushed, Haru could be so blunt. They all headed downstairs and grabbed some food. After dinner they played some games then huddled up into bed getting ready to go to sleep. Rin had decided his favorite spot was settled right between Makoto and Haru.

"Rin, were you really alright today? With the kissing?" Rin leaned up and left a soft peck on Makoto's lips.

"Of course I was fine with the kissing, otherwise I wouldn't have done it."

"Good, I'm glad I don't want to feel like I'm pushing you. Like either of us are pushing you, right Haru?"

"Mmm. That's right, we love you. We don't want to push you."

Rin smiled, he felt so lucky. He gently kissed Haru, "Good night, Haru." He squeezed Makoto's hand. "Good night, Makoto."

"Good night, Rin. I love you."

"Good night, love you."

The room was quiet for a moment before Rin callef out, "I love you, both of you." He fell asleep with a gentle smile on his face.

The next morning when they woke up they exchanged good mornings and sweet kisses. They ate breakfast then left the house. "Hey, let's go on a date!" Rin and Haru looked at Makoto like he was nuts.

"Huh?" They said in unison.

"Yeah! We'll go out somewhere! Let's go see a movie! I mean we're boyfriends now, right? Why not go on a proper date?" Haru nodded and began walking to the train station. Rin blushed and felt dizzy. A date? Rin had never been on a date before, just yesterday he shared his first consensual kiss and now a date! Rin could hardly contain his excitement. "Rin, are you coming?" Rin looked up and ran after them, he was embarassed that he got so caught up in his thoughts. Makoto smiled gently and walked next to Rin. Haru noticed this and slowed his pace so he could walk in step with them.

At the movie theater they debated which movie they should see. Rin wanted to watch the newest romantic comedy while Haru wished to see the new documentary about ocean life.

"God Haru! You see water every day of your life! I'm not watching a stupid movie about fucking dolphins."

"The water hates you now, Rin. I hope you're proud of yourself for disrespecting it like that."

"Now, now, you two. Calm down. We'll find something we can all enjoy, yeah?" Rin and Haru glanced at the movie board then looked back to each other with a glint in their eyes.

"Three tickets," Haru started.

"to that one, please." Rin finished. The movie poster he pointed to clearly depicted a horror film. Makoto paled.

Rin and Haru chose to sit on either side of Makoto waiting for their brilliant plan to work. Sure enough after the first scream Makoto clutched both of their arms. Halfway through Makoto was taking turns hiding in Rin and Haru's necks. By the end of the movie they were all taking turns making out. When the lights came back on Makoto jumped away from his position of sucking Haru's neck like he had been burned. "Hah! See, I told you we'd get you to forget the movie!" Rin declared triumphantly. "Uhh, Haru, how are you going to explain that?" Rin gestured to his own neck.

"Oh my god, Haru! I'm so sorry!" Makoto stared at the blossoming red mark on the side of Haru's neck.

"Did you leave a hickey?" Makoto nodded sadly. "Good." Rin and Makoto looked at him in shock. "I want everyone to know I belong to you. You should do Rin next."

"Harruuu!" Rin ducked his head, shoulders shaking.

"Geez Haru! You're not discreet at all! Ahahaha!" Makoto and Haru smiled. They finally got Rin to laugh again. All they wanted was for Rin to be able to laugh and smile again. They left the theater and Rin laughed again when the young girl working the concession stand raised a brow, clearly wondering why one of the boys from their group came in fine but was now leaving with a large bruise on his neck. Rin found he couldn't stop smiling. And there were only more smiles to come.


	10. Touching

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin, Haru and Makoto finally touch each other, but...

Two days had passed since their first date. Rin had finished his therapy assignment and went to his appointment. Rin was now standing in front of the building his therapy sessions were held and looked stunned. His therapist told him to think of the letter as a representation of his feelings and let it go. He could throw it out, tear it up or get rid of it anyway he wanted. But how could he? He couldn't just throw his feelings away, not yet.

Two weeks later Rin had moved. Makoto and Haru decided to move back to their place in Tokyo leaving Rin slightly disappointed. As soon as Makoto realized Rin was upset, which took a total of two hours because come on this was Makoto, he suggested that Rin come with them. Haru agreed immediately. Rin convinced Haru and Makoto to go back to school because he would be fine now that they were living together. That morning was the first morning Makoto and Haru had left for school leaving Rin alone and bored.

Rin took a walk around the block and picked up some ingrediants for dinner that night. When he got back to the apartment he called home and talked to his mother and sister until Makoto and Haru got home. "Haru, Makoto, welcome home!"

"We're home!" Makoto answered while Haru nodded. "Oh! You got ingrediants for dinner, that's great! Thank you, Rin!"

"I'll cook." Haru immediately ran to the kitchen before the other two ruined the food. After they ate they all decided to watch a movie since tomorrow was the weekend. As they sat on the couch Rin felt a hand on his thigh and jumped.

"Sorry." Makoto apologized. "I was just trying to get your attention." Rin nodded. "I just wanted to ask...well, I wanted to know if, um, well, I know you've been sleeping on the couch for the past two nights and I'm sure it's not comfortable and well, um, yeah..." Rin looked confused. "Would you like, seeing as Haru and I have a king size bed, to, uh, sleep in bed with us?" Rin fidgeted. After a few minutes he responded.

"Y-yeah. I, um, do." Makoto looked elated.

"See? All you needed to do was ask." Haru said while rolling his eyes. Makoto looked bashful but was still glad Rin had said yes, he was almost afraid that Rin has reverted back and didn't trust them anymore. They all took their baths and headed to bed. Rin asked to be in the middle and Makoto responded with an enthusiastic 'yes' while Haru's agreement was more subdued. An hour or so later, as they were lying in bed Rin felt a hand on his hip. The hand moved from his hip to mid thigh and back, gently caressing the skin through his boxers. It was a hot night so Rin settled on wearing boxers and a tank top, Makoto wore a light short sleeve shirt and sweatpants because he was self conscious of his body, and Haru wore nothing but light sleep shorts, not self conscious about his body in the least.

The hand on Rin hadn't left once. Rin froze. The hand began creeping up into the gap between the fabric and Rin's skin. Rin whimpered. Immediately the hand stilled. "Oh, god! Rin, I'm so sorry!" Makoto cried. "I wasn't thinking! I, um, was feeling...uh, nevermind!" Haru turned on his side facing both of them.

"Makoto, don't apologize for being horny." Rin could feel Makoto's body heat rise about twenty degrees, he knew he was blushing.

"No, no. I'm sorry. Rin's probably not ready." Rin stopped thinking. He stopped breathing. He couldn't do this. He needed to show them how much he loved them. Sure they had shared kisses ever since but he needed more. He needed to give himself to them.

"Do it." Haru and Makoto looked at him in shock.

"Rin are you sure?" Makoto asked while gently stroking his cheek.

"Yeah, I want to. I want to be together with you guys. I want to erase those _things_ that _he_ did to me."

Haru cupped his cheek looking into his eyes tenderly. The romantic gesture caused Rin's breath to catch in his throat. "Are you sure, Rin?"

"Yes."

"We'll stop whenever you need, okay?" Rin nodded. Makoto scooted closer to Rin and he could feel his hardness press into his thigh, he shivered half in fear, half in arousal. Makoto's fingers gently brushed the top of Rin's boxers. "Is this okay?" Rin nodded. Haru used his own hand and slupped his fingers beneath the waistband of his bottoms and tugged slightly. He looked into Rin's eyes silently asking permission. Again Rin nodded. Haru pulled them off completely. That's when Rin panicked.

His half hard cock softened completely in fear and he flailed. Makoto stopped touching and Haru moved away. "No!" Rin shouted. Makoto moved closer, his previous arousal effectively doused by Rin's panic. "Shhh. Baby, it's just us. Just us. You're okay." He stroked the side of his face. Rin began to come back from his thoughts. Where once stood a drunk and manically grinning Hajime was now a sympathetic looking Haru and a heartbroken Makoto. Rin breathed in deeply. Then he sobbed.

"Please. Please don't stop. I want to continue. Please! Hold me down if you need to! Just please don't leave me!" Rin cried so hard his shoulders shook. Makoto shook his head.

"No, I don't know about Haru but I'm not forcing you. Are you Haru?" Haru steeled his gaze. All of a sudden Haru pounced on Rin pinning him to the bed.

"W-what?" Rin was shocked.

"Haru, stop!"

"No! Just like with swimming, Rin needs to be pushed!" Rin froze before his intincts kicked in and he tried escaping. His heart was racing, the adrenaline from the fear was so intense it caused the room to spin and his breath to shorten.

"L-let go! No! Stop! H-help!"

"Rin!" The room went dead silent at Haru's shout. No one had ever heard Haru yell. Rin looked at him.

"That's right, Rin. It's me. Haru. I'm not Hajime. I'm not going to push you. I'm not going to rape you. It's Haru. I love you. I live you and I'm going to _make love_ to you! Rin, look at me, just me. Makoto, too. We both love you." Haru's eyes glistened with unshed tears. He pressed his lips to Rin's neck then did nothing more, simply breathing in and out. Rin's breathing slowly evened out. This was Haru. Haru and Makoto. Both of which loved him and would never hurt him. p >

Rin looked to both of them, tears glistening in his eyes. "It's Haru. Haru and Makoto. They love me. I'm fine. I'm... _loved_." Rin looked shocked at his own realization, he finally realized he was loved.

"Yes, Rin. You're loved." Haru gave a rare smile, caressing the side of Rin's face. Makoto leaned over and stroked his arm. Haru slowly divested him of his shirt while Makoto brought his hand to his thigh hesitantly. Rin breathed deeply and evenly, reminding himself that he was with the two people whom he loved and loved him back equally, not in some bush being raped. Haru gently caressed his left nipple while Makoto rubbed soothing circles into his right thigh and nuzzled the side of his neck, barely brushing his lips against the skin there.

"Y-you guys, too." Rin gasped, the feelings of arousal slowly but surely returning. He felt Makoto shake his head.

"No, Rin baby. We need to get you used to this slowly. Just touching tonight. Just us touching you, okay?" Rin was slightly disappointed but understood completely. He wasn't sure how ready he was for anymore. He swallowed and nodded. Makoto smiled and kissed him gently, a soft peck on the lips. He kept leaving soft pecks on Rin's lips before deeping to hot yet gentle open mouthed kisses. Rin gasped as he felt a warm, wet sensation on his nipple. He quickly looked down to see Haru laving his tongue over and around his left nipple then moving on to the right. Makoto moved slightly up and back to give Haru more room on Rin's chest before resuming his kisses.

Rin hummed in the back of his throat as Makoto's tongue swept gracefully into his mouth, touching every part of him, tracing his teeth then moving farther back to caress the roof of his mouth, down to entwine their tongues together then over his gums on it's way back out. He repeated this process over and over again. Rin was starting to be lulled into a sense of calm by the treatment until Haru suddenly sucked Rin's nipple into his mouth. Rin arched off the bed and moaned obscenely.

"Feel good, baby?" Haru cooed. Makoto had never seen Haru this dominant in bed before and would be lying if he said it wasn't a major turn on. Rin would have replied if it weren't for Haru placing gentle kisses from Rin's chest down to his navel stopping just shy of his now rock hard and weeping erection. Makoto decided to join in and nipped his way down Rin's other side. Rin jolted as two heated breaths caressed his arousal, he was almost reluctant to look down, afraid the mere sight of what he was about to see would bring him to orgasm, but forced his eyes downward.

There he seen Makoto and Haru looking up at him expectantly, just a few centimeters away from his burning cock. He gulped. ' _No, Rin. This isn't the same. Haru and Makoto will be doing this to you. You won't have to suck off anyone, they said they would give you all the pleasure._ ' Suddenly Rin felt immensely guilty. He would get all the pleasure? What about Makoto and Haru? Rin was about to open his mouth when Makoto cut him off.

"Don't worry, Rin. Baby steps, right? Don't feel guilty, Haru and I will feel good enough just knowing you're feeling good, so just enjoy yourself, alright?" Okay so maybe Makoto's strange mind reading powers didn't extend to Haru alone. Makoto chuckled, "No, Rin, I can't realky read minds. Not even Haru's." Now Rin was absolutely, positively _sure_ Makoto could read minds, either that or he was insanely good at reading body language. Rin felt reassured by that fact because that meant whenever he was feeling too uncomfortable Makoto would know exactly when to stop. Rin also knew that for all of Haru's aggressiveness he would stop if Rin needed as well. Rin's heart swelled with love.

In the next moment every thought flew straight out of his mind as a thick, wet, hot stripe licked up the side of his erection. Rin's hips jolted upward, the sparks of pleasure causing his mind to short circuit and his body to rely on instinct. Rin peeked down between his legs to see Makoto lapping at his dick. Haru traced his nose down Rin's penis to the neatly trimmed pubic hair framing it where he stopped and nuzzled the junction of Rin's pubic bone and thigh. Makoto slowly began lapping the tip of his dick, collecting the pre cum gathering there, before slowly descending down his shaft. Haru grabbed Rin's hip just in time to keep his bucking body from choking Makoto.

Rin moaned, he moaned so loudly he feared all of Tokyo had heard him. He felt Makoto go up and down his shaft, tongue pressing on the underside, giving different pressures and speeds. Makoto slowly descended further and further until he was finally deep throating him. "He's fantastic at that isn't he? He can make me cum two minutes flat with that mouth of his. And trust me, I don't cum easily." Makoto moaned at the praise. The moan sent delicious vibrations from Rin's dick up his spine. Rin grabbed the bed sheets.

Rin was panting and clutching at the bed for dear life. Makoto kept sucking bringing his head up every now and then to swirl his tongue around the tip before pushing back down. The pull of Makoto's lips and his own foreskin against his cock caused his whole body to twitch. Haru moved his way down to Rin's testicles and lightly traced his tongue around one then the other. Haru then used a finger to lift the heavy sac so he could easily reach Rin's perenium. Makoto sucked and bobbed faster while Haru licked his perenium and the surrounding skin.

Makoto and Haru seemed to be exactly in sync with each other. Rin felt his entire body tighten, ready for release. In the next moment Makoto thrusted his head fully down, burying his face in Rin's pubic hairs while Haru parted Rin's ass cheeks and licked his contracting hole. This was all it took for Rin to cum. His orgasm shot through him so fast and hard that his entire world went white. He could feel nothing but pure bliss, his entire body spasming and the blood rushing to his head rendering him both unable to see or hear. Makoto, seeing Haru move down to Rin's entrance, had anticipated his orgasm and moved back slightly so he could swallow his entire release.

A few seconds later Rin slowly began to descend from his peak and looked over to Makoto and Haru who were now kissing, spreading Rin's cum between their lips. Rin flopped bonelessly onto the bed. Makoto and Haru cuddled up to Rin on each side. "So, how was that Rin? Good?" Makoto looked at Rin expectantly. Haru rolled his eyes.

"He always looks for reassurance after sex." Haru sighed. "I don't even know why, he's amazing. I tell him that every time and he never believes me."

"Haruuu! Come on! You might like it but Rin's not you!" Rin smiled. He went to reply but no sound came out. Had he really screamed that loudly? He was a hundred times more embarassed now. He cleared his throat and tried again.

"That was...amazing! Oh god, I love you guys so much and that was, wow! Just wow!" Makoto smiled.

"Good, I'm glad." Haru mumbled something from Rin's left. "What was that Haru?"

"I said..." He yawned. "I love you. Now goodnight." Makoto chuckled.

"Goodnight Haru. Ummm, I'm just gonna head to the bathroom." Rin looked to Makoto's raging erection and immediately felt guilty.

"Do you, you know, need help?"

"No, tonight was about you, Rin, I can take care of this myself. Don't worry, okay?" He flashed Rin his famous 'Makoto grin with adorable head tilt' before heading to the bathroom. Several minutes later Makoto returned and tucked himself into Rin's side. Haru was already fast asleep. Makoto leaned over and kissed Haru on the forehead, he then kissed Rin's forehead and said goodnight to both, Rin returned the goodnight. Rin lay awake listening to Haru's even breathing and Makoto's breath evening out, signaling that he was also falling asleep. Rin smiled and slowly closed his eyes, the warmth of two bodies and his powerful orgasm from earlier combining to draw him to sleep. His last thought before sleep claimed him was, ' _Maybe I can finally move on. Maybe I can let those feelings go. Yeah, I think I can with these two at my side..._ ' He fell into a deep sleep with a gentle smile.


	11. The Next Step

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin takes the next step in his relationship.

It had been two and a half years since Rin had come back to Japan. He had taken huge steps in his relationship with Haru and Makoto and even got as far as being able to not only be touched by them in a sexual way but also touch them in return. Rin had come such a far way from where he started but there was one more step he wanted, no _needed_ to take. That step was sex, not just the frotting and oral sex he had been sharing for a while now, but penetrative sex. Makoto and Haru assured Rin that penetration was not the only way to have sex but Rin wanted to. Sometimes he would lay awake in bed and could swear he felt Hajime inside him. Even after two and a half years those feelings and sensations were still there. Rin needed to erase them; he needed to fill that gap in his heart with new memories and he would do it tonight. The night of their anniversary that they started their three way relationship.

Rin stopped by the pharmacy on his way back home to pick up some supplies. He was shaking as he bought a tube of lube but the cashier didn't even give him a second glance. He opted out of condoms knowing that it was probably unhygenic but he didn't care, he wanted to feel every part of his partners with nothing in between and he knew neither he, Haru, nor Makoto had any diseases. Rin arrived home and waited for Haru to return from a day swimming at the pool and Makoto from his study group, each inviting Rin with them but Rin had declined leaving it simply as 'having things to do'. He sat on the couch taking deep breathes and gnawing on his lower lip. He kept stealing glances at the pharmacy bag on the coffee table in front of him wondering if it would have been a better idea to join Haru at the pool to swim off his nerves. He hadn't been swimming since he left Australia.

Just as Rin was about to get up from the couch and head out, the front door swung open. There in the doorway stood Haru. "Rin, were you going somewhere? I'll go with you." Rin stood shocked for a few seconds but recovered shortly, he agook his head and replied,

"Nah, actually I was just about to go out and see if I could find you. I didn't know when you'd be home." Haru nodded, accepting his answer, and headed towards the living room. Rin decided to make some tea for the both of them so he left the living room and began boiling some water in the kitchen. Not three seconds after entering the kitchen did Rin hear Haru's incredulous voice.

"Rin, what is this?" Rin popped his head through the doorway and saw Haru holding the pharmacy bag in one hand. ' _Shit_ ' Rin thought, he wanted to surprise Makoto and Haru in a more romantic way than this. Haru interrupted his thoughts, "Rin, does this mean what I think it does?" Rin blushed and looked down bashfully but replied anyway.

"I'm ready, Haru. I'm ready to show you and Makoto how I feel. I'm ready to take that final step." Haru looked at him doubtfully. Rin turned turned about twenty shades of a deeper red, his face almost matching his crimson hair. "I discussed it with my therapist and she said it was great that I was ready to move on once and for all." Haru seemed a little stunned.

"You told your therapist you were ready for a threesome?"

"No way, idiot! I just told her I was ready for, well, you know..."

"Sex, Rin?" Rin blush which had begun to disscipate came back with a vengance. Haru merely rolled his eyes. "Geez, you're as bad as Makoto." At that precise moment said boyfriend strolled through the door.

"I'm home!" Makoto called out.

"Welcome home." Rin greeted. Haru's greeting was less tasteful.

"Rin wants to have sex."

Makoto blanched then spluttered, "w-what!? Haru are you sure? What gave you that idea? When? What? How?" Makoro turned to Rin for an explanation but all he got was a red faced Rin staring at the floor refusing to look either Makoto nor Haru in the eye. Haru held up the pharmacy bag.

"This is the proof that Rin wants it." Makoto looked to Rin who lifted his head and nodded.

"I-I want this." Rin's voice was barely above a whisper. "I want the both of you..." Makoto smiled tenderly and stepped forward to wrap Rin in a warm embrace.

"If you're ready Rin it's nothing to be ashamed of." Rin nodded from his spot nestled in Makoto's bicep.

"Sorry for putting it so bluntly. I didn't realize how you'd feel." Haru sounded frustrated with himself. "I don't pick up on emotional cues and I'm not as in touch with feelings and stuff like Makoto." Rin chuckled and wormed his way out of Makoto's arms and grabbed Haru, pulling him into a hug. Haru huffed but accepted the hug. "I know, and I wouldn't have you any other way." Rin said as he lightly pecked Haru on the lips. As Rin pulled away Makoto grabbed both Rin and Haru's hand and pulled them towards the bedroom. Rin's heart was pounding, what if he wasn't good enough? What if he freaked out? What if something went wrong? What if? Rin's thoughts were abruptly cut off by the sound of their bedroom door being opened.

"Are you ready?" Makoto inquired, directing his question towards not only Rin but Haru as well. Both nodded their assent. Makoto smiled widely and brought both of them through the door and towards the bed. Makoto brought both Haru and Rin closer. He began by slowly mouthing Haru's jawline, Rin watched in fascination as Haru closed his eyes, his breaths coming heavier with each lap of Makoto's tongue. Rin could feel his dick steadily hardening as he watched their interaction. He felt as if he would cum right then and there as Haru gave a sharp gasp in response to Makoto gently suckling the side of his neck. Haru's eyes looked to Rin, half lidded, and beckoned Rin closer.

Rin swallowed hard, unsure how long their tryst would actually last. As he stepped forward Haru pulled on the bottom of his shirt. Rin took the hint and pulled his shirt of, Makoto chuckled and took this as his cue to pull off not only his own shirt but Haru's as well. For all the stripping Haru did outside the bedroom it seemed that when it came to sex he liked to be spoiled and have his clothes removed for him. As soon as they were all shirtless Haru gently ran his fingers through Rin's hair burrowing them into the fine hairs at the back of Rin's neck. Makoto was now alternating between suckling Haru's neck and licking just below Rin's ear, knowing both of their weak spots. Haru licked his way into Rin's mouth leaving Rin to release a loud moan.

Makoto gently mouthed Rin's right nipple, lapping at it with his tongue and sucking it between his lips being sure to watch his teeth. As Makoto was playing with Rin's nipple his left hand traced down Haru's abdomen, slowly tracing shapes over Haru's navel knowing this was one of Haru's most sensitive spots. Rin almost forgot the pharmacy bag that was dropped to the floor earlier until he almost tripped and fell over it.

"Damn it!"

Makoto chuckled lightly while Haru turned his head and gave his trademarked 'barely-there' smile. Rin looked embarassed but quickly picked up the bag dumping the contents onto the bed, discarding the bag into the trash near the bedside table. When Rin turned back around Makoto was fumbling out of his boxers while Haru was already completely nude. Rin tried not to gape as he brought his trembling hands to his pants. Makoto and Haru made their way to Rin, both completely naked. Rin's hands were shaking so bad that all he managed to do was get the button halfway through the hole. Makoto took a hold of his hands and gently moved them out of the way as he smiled warmly, gazing into Rin's eyes. Rin could get lost in that gentle smile.

Makoto slowly worked Rin's pants off, giving him time to change his mind. When Rin gave no sign of protest Makoto discarded his pants which was followed by his breifs, the black ones with the great white shark on the butt, a gift from Haru. Makoto gently caressed Rin's sides while nudging him backwards to the bed. As Rin crawled backwards to the pillows after softly landing on the bed Haru made sure to kiss every inch of Rin. Rin's body was so hot and his mind so hazy that he almost missed the snapping sound of a plastic cap being opened.

"Are you ready?" Makoto looked to Rin, his eyes silently asking permission. Rin merely nodded. Makoto coated his fingers liberally, smearing a majority of lube around Rin's sphincter. Rin tilted his head back and shuddered. There was no pain but the lube was slightly cold. Haru kissed Rin gently, nipping and lapping at his lips Haru stroked Rin's hair. Makoto was slowly massaging Rin with a steady, gentle pressure until his index finger slow slipped passed the muscle. This pattern continued for several minutes until Makoto had three fingers knuckle deep into Rin. Haru was stroking Rin everywhere aside from his achingly hard penis. Makoto looked to Haru, they communicated wordlessly and shifted positions.

Makoto moved to Rin's face kissing him breathlessly. Haru slicked himself up and slowly sank into his body. Rin froze. This was nothing like his experience with Hajime. He felt a gentle stretching and a great pressure but no pain. Rin was panting erractically, he could hardly believe it, he knew there wouldn't be much pain if any since he was doing this with the two people he loved most but what shocked him most was the pleasure. He could feel every ridge of Haru as he pushed forward. When Haru was finally seated fully inside him, Rin could feel every pulse and throb which left him breathless. Makoto looked into his eyes with the gentlest expression he'd ever seen.

"You okay? Feel good?" All Rin could do was nod. Makoto kissed Rin's neck and shoulders while Haru began to move. The pace he set was a slow, rolling motion that caused a burning sensation to build in Rin's lower abdomen all the way down to his thighs. Makoto was laving his entire chest with attention, licking and kissing his nipples and surrounding skin. 

"Ha ha. Ahn. Oh. H-haru, Makoto!" Rin was getting closer and closer to orgasm until Haru suddenly tensed above him with a barely audible grunt. Rin's eyes flew open in shock as he realized that Haru had just cum. Haru refused to look at Rin or Makoto as he slowly pulled out. He had a deep blush on his face and looked as embarassed as Rin had ever saw him.

"S-sorry. I should have lasted longer." Haru flopped to his side next to Rin. Makoto chuckled gently.

"Don't worry, Haru, I know you've been looking forward to this forever. Next time, right?" Makoto smiled and kissed Haru on the forehead. Makoto moved his way inbetween Rin's legs and positioned his penis to Rin's thoroughly stretched hole. Rin twitched. Haru was one thing but Makoto was by far more endowed than Haru in bothe length and girth. Rin panicked slightly, would taking something that big hurt? Makoto gave a gentle smile stroking his face. Haru spoke up,

"Don't worry. Makoto's gentle. When we first had sex, my first time, it didn't hurt at all." Rin was suddenly relieved, Haru would never lie. He was blunt and honest. Sometimes too honest. Makoto slowly pushed into Rin. To Rin's amazement Makoto was even gentler than Haru. When Makoto was completely imbedded in Rin he leaned down and placed a kiss to Rin's temple.

"Ready?" Rin nodded and Makoto began to move. Rin felt so full and loved as Haru stroked his chest and Makoto moved within him. The pace set was a slow rolling rythmn, lulling them all into pleasure like the ocean waves. Suddenly Makoto stopped as did Haru. "Rin, are you all right?" As Makoto touched the side of Rin's face Rin realized he was crying. Rin flushed.

"Y-yeah. I'm fine. It's just..." Rin was embaressed. "It just felt so good..."

"Thank god. I thought you were in pain." Haru smirked while licking the shell of Rin's ear. Rin jolted. Makoto smiled and resumed his pace as Haru kissed Rin deeply.

"Makoto." Rin's eyes fluttered shut. "Haru. Don't stop." Their orgasms were rapidly approaching.

"Oh! Mmmm. Oh, Rin! Rin! Haru! Ah!" Rin clenched, he never knew Makoto was such a vocal lover until tonight and the sweet noises he made drove Rin over the edge and to the most mind numbing orgasm he had ever experienced. Halfway through his orgasm he felt Makoto's hips jerk while loud moans spilled from his lips. Rin realized Makoto had just cum as well. Makoto pulled away, panting. Haru nuzzled Rin from his left side while Makoto nuzzled his right. Rin felt like he was floating. His body was light and warm, his mind fuzzy. That's when he realized that he had cum from penetration alone. He never thought that it was physically possible, he thought that he would need some stimulation to his penic but that wasn't the case. 'Apparently orgasms can be achieved by mental stimulation as well as physical' Rin mused to himself as he fell into a blissful and dreamless sleep.

A month later after consumating his relationship Rin stood on the boardwalk watching the ocean waves lap at the wood of the pier.

"Ready, Rin?" Makoto asked, Haru looked to Rin, anyone who knew Haru would see the look of adoration in his eyes.

"Yeah, I'm ready." Rin lifted the paper, the feelings he held for Hajime, everything he had experienced, everything he felt, saw, heard, tasted, and smelled from that night written down in a letter, and tore it in two. He then proceeded to tear it into smaller and smaller pieces. He held the pieces in his hand, took a deep breath and then released them. He watched them flutter and dance in the wind until they were snatched by the waves and washed away. Rin felt lighter, a burden lifted from his shoulders. He turned to his lovers, a gentle, peaceful smile on his face. He grabbed both their hands.

"Let's go home."

Rin turned away and never looked back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P.S. Sorry if this seemed a little rushed I was starting to loose steam but wanted to at least give some sort of ending, I hate unfinished stories ;p


End file.
